Women and Diaconal Ministry: Spiritual Direction
By
Sister Rebecca
I
have lived forty years in monastic life.
It is from this background and perspective that I will be sharing with
you a glimpse into the process of spiritual direction as I have experienced it
over many years. My life’s journey has
taken me over several countries: born American, Roman Catholic, with a military
background, and living within the four corners of the United States and abroad:
in Guam, Quebec, Hong Kong, Switzerland, and France.
My first experience of spiritual
direction was during my ten years of teaching in Hong Kong. I profited
immensely from meeting with a retired French Bishop of Mongolia, a truly wise
and holy person, whose spiritual teaching and pastoral care have influenced me
to this day. My second most important
spiritual guide, a true spiritual mother, was the Foundress and Prioress of a
monastery in Southern France, where I was a member for twelve years. From its very beginnings it found its roots
in the early Desert Tradition, with a special focus on the Sayings of the
Desert Elders (the Apophthegmata) and
the spiritual guidance correspondence of the Gaza elders Barsanuphius and John.
There I was steeped in the liturgical and monastic spiritual life and practice
of the Eastern Orthodox Church. After five
years the Prioress asked me to participate in the spiritual formation of the
novices and retreatants, but I also remained accountable to her for my own
personal journey as well as for my spiritual accompaniment of others.
It is difficult to express in words what
I received from these two spiritual guides.
I not only benefited from their spiritual guidance but also received invaluable
teaching. I learned the crucial importance
of self-knowledge and discernment. It
was an extraordinary gift to find elders or guides who were competent and
willing to listen to disclosure of thoughts (logismoi). To be able to lay before them my thoughts, feelings, and
at times painful crises was freeing, healing, and enlightening. Most of all, the experience deepened my
awareness of the Presence of God as loving and compassionate despite my sense
of unworthiness but also because of it.
Spiritual awakening
Fast forward to the present at New Skete
Monastery in Cambridge, New York. Here we frequently encounter people who are seriously
questioning: “Who am I? What is my purpose in life? Why am I here?” Listening to them, I often
sense in them an awakening to the Mystery of God and even a thirst for
God. Metropolitan Kallistos Ware
comments on this becoming open to the transcendent: “The boundaries of the human person are
extremely wide; each of us knows very little about his/her true deep self. Through our faculties of perception, outward
and inward, through our memory and through the power of the unconscious, we
range widely over space, we stretch backward and forward in time, and we reach
out beyond space and time into eternity.
‘Within the heart are unfathomable depths,’ says St. Macarius” (Kallistos
Ware, The Orthodox Way, p. 25).
Unless there is such an initial
awakening to grace, it is unlikely that anyone would desire spiritual
direction. It is the beginning of a transforming power in one’s life. In our
Orthodox tradition we call this “awakening to the perception of God within,” an
invitation to what we long for most in life: communion with God, theosis or
deification. At the same time we still find
ourselves caught up in controlling relationships and personal agendas, affirming
our egos and fixating on the surface of life, often unaware of the subtle
currents of the Spirit within. All of
this impels certain people to seek out a spiritual guide, and this existential
tension can lead to metanoia, a profound, healthy re-examination of self, a
change in mind and heart and eventually in the way one is living.
Spiritual direction is quite simply a
path enabling us to perceive and respond to the Holy Spirit in the depth of our
being. One of my own teachers said, “My
job as spiritual guide is to keep my students from tripping over the rocks in
the road.” My teachers help me to stay
on the path.
It is important to note that spiritual
direction is not psychotherapy, although it might include elements of
counseling. Spiritual direction does
deal with the same raw material, so to speak, as with therapy, but the aim and
method are very different.
Also, spiritual direction is not
sacramental confession. Sacramental
confession is more of a process of looking back and expressing contrition
before God, whereas the orientation of Spiritual direction is more forward-looking. It may also include a look at where we have
been in order to move forward.
With regard to the terminology of
director/directée, I often hear the term “spiritual accompaniment,” but the one
most frequent seems to be “spiritual direction.” Our Orthodox tradition has coined the terms
Spiritual Mother or Father and the generic Spiritual Elder. For the sake of brevity I will use the terms “director/directée,”
all the while knowing that the ultimate Director is the Spirit of God. Someone accompanies us on the spiritual path as
we articulate our experiences, reveal our thoughts, and bring to light how we
are being invited to greater life.
Do we really need a
spiritual director?
There are many deceptions and dangers
for those who wish to walk the spiritual path. “If we are climbing a mountain
for the first time, we need to follow a known route, and we also need to have
with us, a companion and guide, someone who has been up before and is familiar
with the way” (Spiritual Guides in the Orthodox Church p. 127: The Inner
Kingdom, by Bp. Kallistos Ware).
Over the years I have also
encountered people who want the spiritual director to tell them what to
do. They do not want to take
responsibility for their own lives. It
is easier to follow someone else’s second-hand path than to do the hard work of
forming a mature conscience and developing good judgment.
A spiritual director is not a law-giver. Nor is the spiritual director out to get
disciples. He/she points and leads to
Christ Jesus—his life, example, and teaching—as well as to the entire Paschal
mystery. The process is also shaped by
how I live my own life, and by being held accountable by someone who has
traveled there before.
Some persons may meet a spiritual
director or an elder who has the need to control or is fascinated with
power. This can infect any
relationship. At present we are hearing
a good deal about pastoral abuse, especially in regard to women. This is one of the reasons we need women as
spiritual directors! Let’s face it: there are false and incompetent guides out
there. Persons seeking spiritual direction must also learn to discern and
follow their personal conscience and intuition. Paul Evdokimov writes: “A spiritual father [or mother] is never a
director of conscience. Both director
and directée place themselves in the school of truth. There is no room for idolatry, even if he or
she is a saint.”
Spiritual
direction is now talked about very much here in America, across the religious
spectrum. Should spiritual direction be taught in our colleges or seminaries? One
suggestion would be to have classes on this topic whereby we familiarize
ourselves with the writings on this subject, beginning with the writings of Saint
Antony the Great and continuing up to the present day. Another suggestion would be to have some
training in psychology and human development.
However, it must be understood that studying about spiritual direction,
even getting a degree, does not make one a spiritual director. It is a gift of God.
Anyone
engaged in the pastoral ministries, whether confessor or spiritual guide, must
be engaged in the spiritual path themselves.
It means doing the inner work on one’s own passions—greed, lust, anger,
vanity, pride, etc. We need to grow in our self-awareness and
self-knowledge. As a guide, one must be
guided, accountable, led, heard, and directed in this growth process. Last but not least, we must be persons of prayer,
contemplation, and communion with God, and lead a regular liturgical life and
sacramental life.
Suggested Books or Resources for Further Reading on
Spiritual Direction
The Inner Kingdom by Bishop
Kallistos Ware: The Spiritual Guide in Orthodox Christianity: pages
127-151
Abba: The Tradition of Orthodoxy in
the West: From Egypt to Palestine: Discerning a Thread of Spiritual Direction
by John Chryssavgis: pages 299-315
Soul Mending: The Art of Spiritual
Direction: by John Chryssavgis
Ages of the Spiritual Life: by Paul
Evdokimov
Light Through Darkness: The Orthodox
Tradition by John Chryssavgis
Two excellent conferences that can be obtained free of
charge via the internet
The Illumined Heart #157 The Spiritual Guide in Eastern
Orthodoxy, Ancient Faith Radio: (Host Kevin Allen speaks with Fr. Steven
Tschlis about the role of the spiritual guide—father or mother—in the Eastern
Orthodox Tradition.)
The Spiritual Guide in Orthodox
Christianity (Part 1) by Metropolitan Kallistos Ware (www.pravmir.com)
