Monastic Winter Retreat

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 By Sister Cecelia

The monastic winter retreat this year has been especially wonderful for me. Ordinarily, I love having a dog to care for, but I do not have one now, so I am enjoying more time for the “leisure” activities monastics are supposed to have time for. I was especially blessed to find and read a biography of Fr. Thomas Keating by Cynthia Bourgeault. Fr. Thomas was the Abbot at St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, Massachusetts, when we first came to New York. These monks helped us through their friendship and also financially as we were getting started here. Having met, talked with, and shared a meal with the person being written about certainly increased my interest.

It was such a delight for me to read about his struggles and breakthroughs, especially in his last five years. Fr. Thomas was able to experience what theosis is. Understanding and living theosis is a goal of Eastern Orthodoxy. The union with God and awareness of God’s presence eventually enabled him to say, “I and God are one.” It is most difficult to truly describe what that realization reveals. Eight poems that Fr. Thomas worked on during his last years are included in the book. Often, poetry is a more effective way to describe the mysteries of our faith than prose.

A loving God who is everywhere and nowhere is a mystery. How do we pray to our mysterious God?

After 20 years, Fr. Thomas left St. Joseph’s Abbey for another Trappist monastery in Snowmass, Colorado. There, he pursued the practice of centering prayer and taught it not only to his monks but to the laity as well. He, like Thomas Merton, realized that other religions (even those not called religions) had learned and taught the consciousness of the “Other” we call God. He managed to encourage meaningful discussions with many outside the centering prayer groups, which deepened his own understanding and experience of prayer.

Many years ago, I was concerned that my prayer was not worthwhile. Shouldn’t I be able to pray better by this time? Then I read this advice somewhere: pray “the way that you can and not the way that you can’t.” This has helped me not to be anxious about my prayer life but to trust the Spirit to lead me.

I feel encouraged to keep reading—as I do and want to do. Even though Fr. Thomas prayed so well, he also read a great deal, according to Cynthia Bourgeault, his biographer. During our retreat, an advertisement came from Holy Cross Bookstore. One book, by John D. Zizioulas, was titled On Being Other: God, Humanity, and Creation. Since this idea seemingly contrasts with “I and God are One,” I was curious to find out Zizioulas had to say. In my early years here, I had read this author and liked what he wrote. “Bridging the Gulf of Otherness,” the second chapter, does a wonderful job of explaining how theologians through the centuries have tackled the problem of duality. It is a mystery: How there can be the Other—and yet I and God are one?

The first poem by Fr. Thomas included in the biography is titled “Out of a Stone.”

Can the Creator of all lure poetry out of a stone?
Or cause a stirring of Divine Love in a human heart?
All is possible for the Creator of all,
Who loves to manifest the impossible
In endless configurations.

After eight more lines, the poem ends with these three:

The silence of the Creator is thunderous,
Drowning out everything else,
And hiding in endless creativity.

Bourgeault adds, “Thomas leads off with his signature sparkle, poking wry fun at himself: Can the Creator of all lure poetry out of a stone? and goes on to say, If a ninety-five-year-old, left-brained Abbot is now writing poetry, truly all things are possible! This poem does indeed shimmer with a playful kind of delight.… Whether the Divine is luring poetry from a stone or love from a heart of stone, it is all part of the same ‘endless creativity.’”


Our winter retreat has been a great preparation for Lent, which is fast approaching, and for the Paschal and Resurrection season.


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