Time Flies . . .

 

By Ralph Karow

Typically one would finish the phrase with “when you’re having fun.” I was thinking more along the lines of “when you’re not really paying attention to it.” I haven’t really been paying any attention to time since I came to New Skete and was recently reminded that I had my three-year anniversary in January. As part of a recognitory email, Sr. Cecelia wrote, “Maybe the next newsletter article: what three years can show one?” which got me thinking, what if I hadn’t stayed at New Skete all this time?

Certainly I would have been very time conscious and very busy “doing things” as opposed to “just being.” The plan back then was to get an MA in Orthodox Theology from St. Vladimir’s Seminary so that I could write a thesis stemming from an understanding of the Trinity being perfect harmony. And the idea behind the thesis was to put forth a theological basis for an evangelical apostolic community. But not just any community; the intention was, and still is, to draw musicians and dancers from both the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches that would evangelize through very specific forms of their respective arts. And to make it even more difficult, I wanted support from both Churches to do this as a joint venture as a step toward healing the nearly 1,000 year old schism. Had I followed that route, I’d already have the MA and most likely would have gone to Fordham for a PhD in philosophy, where again, I would have been very narrowly confined to a thesis topic. But by George … I’d have accomplished something … and been chipping away at the goal! By staying here, I’ve “done” nothing, and my life has gone to the dogs … literally! Or has it?

At best, the theses on the Trinity being perfect harmony would have been written in an environment where some theologians would have had to read my ideas and spend time with them in order to understand them. I did not and do not want to create a “theology of harmony.” All I was hoping to point out was that this conception is a refinement of existing doctrine and would necessitate a change to the Nicene Creed. Not something for me to do, but the Churches themselves. Or is it?

Somewhere in the course of writing this article, along with other correspondence, this just flowed out from under my fingers:

I/We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, loving radiance of the perfect harmony of Beauty and Truth, which have been more deeply revealed to us in the persons of the Father and the Son. Who with the Father and the Son is . . . .

I hadn’t been consciously thinking about the Creed, but I have been trying to pursue a Funeral Mass along the lines of what I wrote about last year. Six months ago, my parish in Manhattan rejected the idea. That should have knocked me for a loop, but the only thing that changed was to evolve the idea beyond the Catholic Church and think of an ecumenical setting. My thoughts were to pitch the idea with the suggestion that a new liturgy be written from the perspective of pre-Nicene theology, only with the caveat of the Trinity being perfect harmony. I was going to leave the text of the liturgy to whoever picked up on the whole idea of the mass; but with this gift of a refinement to the Nicene Creed, there’s no reason to rehash what the early Fathers had already resolved. A new liturgical text can start with the change to the one clause that led to the great theological schism between East and West. I’m still not prepared to write a liturgical text, but my thoughts have already drifted to the Eucharistic celebration. What we partake in is a miracle on the order of what happened at the wedding in Canaan and the multiplication of the loaves some 2,000 years ago. Orthodox theology speaks of the real presence of Christ in the bread and wine. Catholic theology calls for transubstantiation, while there is a variety of beliefs among Protestants. I don’t doubt the reality of us consuming the actual body (glorified, not human) and blood of Christ in some manner, but I readily admit that up to now I’ve just accepted it and have never really tried to comprehend it.

I used to think the same about the Trinity, though, and sometimes wonder if my reluctance to even think about it “egged God on” to make that the cornerstone of my faith. Now, of course, that’s got me curious to see whether the “loving radiance” will build on a once rejected stone and lead to a deeper appreciation of what we eat and drink. It’s completely beyond me, but might the Spirit whisper something that could possibly open the miracle of that sacrament to be shared by all the churches? If that’s the case, I wouldn’t even care whether my setting of the Requiem is used for the mass. There could be an entirely different text needing to be scored, and somebody else can set it. It doesn’t matter. All of my initial ideas could have just been bait to lure me onto a narrower and hidden path that I would have missed had I been busily sticking to my intended route.

And I think that’s what the three years have shown me. We most definitely have a general idea of where God is (or isn’t) in our lives, where God does (or doesn’t) want us to go, and what our limitations (or horizons) are. The problem for me, at least, was/is trying live with God within my limitations. I can get degrees, live in a monastery, write articles and emails and do everything within my power to keep on the path I know I should be on, knowing that God is with me; and that’s my “problem”—a lack of faith. I have absolute faith that God is with me in whatever I’m doing, but it’s very difficult to just be while God does the doing. What I’m realizing while writing this paragraph, though, is that God being with “me in my endeavors” is only a concession to my limitations in order to forgive them and move me beyond them so that I can see the horizons in which God truly lives.

I can’t call an ecumenical council to rule on my amendment to the Creed any more than I can get a mulberry bush to uproot itself. Only the Spirit can move Patriarchs and the Pope to call a council, though probably not as easily as the Spirit swirling the winds into a cyclone to uproot the bush and plop it down in the ocean. But a council is what would be needed to heal the rift. A couple of theses wouldn’t accomplish that. Could presenting a new liturgical text with definitive (though somewhat puzzling) statements in the context of an ecumenical mass, however, reach a wide enough audience to put some wheels in motion? I don’t know, and I don’t think I need to know. I just have to decide whether I need to have faith in it while it plots its own course for me to follow in its wake.

Three years ago I came to and remained at New Skete on faith, and it almost immediately opened new horizons to me. What I guess I need to be careful of now is once again fencing new horizons within my limitations. I can’t be too hard on myself, since we see the Apostles do it time and time again in the Gospels, but I do have to keep reminding myself that they needed to stop clinging to the Jesus they knew and were comfortable with. They needed to move on to the newly expanded horizons the risen Jesus was showing them. I hadn’t considered any of this until I sat down and started writing. And now that the article’s come to an end, I can’t help but think of what a wonderful way this is for me to start the Lenten season. And how once again I was blessed through both the workings of this community and the ability to share my thoughts with the community. And it shouldn’t be a surprise that along with all this, a new phase of puppy rearing is very soon coming my way … onward from week 8. Something I’m sure to be writing about in the future.