Mentoring: Living in Faith
By Brother Luke
Faith is not about assurances. It’s about moving into the unknown without the anchor of a desired predetermined outcome. The outcome is what it is supposed to be, not necessarily what I hope it will be. For cooks, and I am not one, following a recipe is supposed to lead to a known outcome: the dish you intend. Entering into monastic life is about entering into a life of faith in a unique and intensive way. When a person embarks on this journey, the initial stages of the journey include accompaniment by a professed member of the community. This is called mentoring. It usually continues right up to the time of profession, which could be 3 to 4 years after one begins the candidacy.
In our community someone entering this formation process could spend up to one year as a candidate. At the end of that period a decision is made as to whether or not the individual and the community think the candidate should continue on to the novitiate. The novitiate can then last up to 3 years, although it may end earlier for a variety of reasons. At any time during the novitiate the novice may decide that this is not the life for him or her, or the community may conclude that the individual is not suited to this life.
The formation process is a period of discernment. The mentor’s role is to help the novice negotiate the stormy waves that are an inevitable part of the journey. The novice faces major adjustments in virtually every aspect of his or her life. Long-held assumptions about proper living are challenged by the new reality of community. What may have worked for someone living alone may not be tenable in a community context where everything is shared and held in common, and nothing is owned or possessed by an individual; where a culture has evolved and a new person has to first come to understand it, then grow into it, and ultimately be a new element that will affect it and change it. Moreover, how one spends one’s time is regulated in part by the structure of monastic life: corporate prayer; personal prayer, study, and meditation; work; and chores.
In monastic life one’s freedom of mobility is restricted. The novice needs permission to leave the monastery property. The novice has to set aside contacts with family and friends while in the process of setting down roots in the community. During the novitiate, personal possessions and money are held in trust for the novice by a person outside the community in whom the novice has confidence.
Learning about this life is a fulltime occupation. It’s both a lived experience and something transmitted through formation classes. The community needs to be careful not to overburden the novice with too many duties. Participating in and preparing for classes is an important part of the novice’s life and must be respected by the other members of the community. The novice has to prepare his or her own daily horarium, taking into account the community structure that is already in place. This is reviewed with the mentor and adjusted over time as duties and circumstances warrant.
Juggling all this and keeping one’s eye focused on why one was drawn to monastic life in the first place is the mentoring process. The mentor and novice will meet once a week throughout the novitiate. This is the time when the mentor will question the novice about weekly experiences with work, other community members (or staff), liturgical life, and most importantly the emotional stretch in dealing with separation from long-time friends and family, and all the issues surrounding those relationships. The novice will struggle with all these things and more. The mentor has to provide the answers to the relentless: why? Doing this in a way that both affirms and challenges set patterns from the past is the delicate dance.
The mentoring sessions will often start with general discussions about the activities of the week. But it will also delve into deeper issues that touch on the emotional turmoil that is brewing inside the heart. Questions include: “What is coming up in your prayer?” “What happened this week that you would describe as moments of grace or moments of challenge?” The conversation that follows can circle back to a discussion of what drew the person to this life in the first place. Is the attraction continuing to burn bright or to burn out? Clarity around that struggle can emerge from the answer to the question: “What is it about this life that feeds you?” How the answer to that question varies over time can reveal the trajectory the novitiate is taking for that person.
Monastic life may produce a rhythm that is reassuring and fulfilling, or it may seem routine and debilitating. Wrestling with such feelings is natural to the process, but the outcome is not the same for each person. The mentor is there as a guide, constantly trying to explain and put into perspective the realities of the monastic culture the novice is experiencing. The mentor can also challenge the novice’s own preconceived notions that are now bumping into a new and unfamiliar reality. Working through all this is no easy task. It is how our faith is lived out in the monastic laboratory. “When the waves rush in on all sides,” as the psalmist says, are we able to affirm through faith our steadiness on the course, or will the unsettling crises we experience cause us to waver and turn back to the familiar? The process is intended to make us work through that. Working through it may not always lead to the same outcome. And that is as it should be. There is another “player” involved here and that is God. If we have allowed the process to do its work, then that final decision ideally comes out of that place where God is guiding the choice. Guiding, not making, the choice: is this the right place for that person to work out his or her salvation? For some it is. But not for all. Being at peace with that reality is the challenge both the individual and the community have to face.
