Two Aids to Prayer

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By Brother John
     First, I will slowly and painfully learn how to pray, but it won't come overnight—maybe not until I am almost dead! I must stop worrying that I cannot sustain prayer for any length of time. I must do my best, or am I more interested in pleasing myself rather than God? The God of prayer is far more important the prayer of God, just as he is far more interested in me who prays than in the prayers I recite. I must be patient—Rome wasn't built in a day. My business is to manifest my good will by being ready for prayer, somewhat like a dog who is content to sit at the master's feet. If the master decides to play with him, attend to him, fine. If he doesn't, the pup remains in that place. If God is going to help me, he must be free to do as he sees fit, not as I see fit. I will try to pray, but if I can do no more, then I sit there and simply attend to God as well I can at that time of day or mood.
     St. Therese once remarked that a child may fall asleep in its father's arms (in a literal sense, or as a distraction), but this does not mean I cease loving the parent. I can think of myself as the father, or child (or as God being the father, or child). Contrary to all my fears, I am not displeasing to God if my best doesn't meet with my approval.
     Second, any worthwhile prayer is deeply personal. All I can do is ask God for light and try to understand and be aware of the principles taught by those who did pray. So, when I pray, first of all I must put myself in God's presence by realizing that he is everywhere, beyond my most daring appraisal of him. Then I must ask the Holy Spirit to help me, leaving the “how” up to him.
     I can pick up the New Testament, and slowly read until a thought comes, if at all. I don't need to read the Scriptures cover to cover, pausing over every word, but simply a section: perhaps as it is marked for the day, for a Sunday or a feast day. Or try doing the same thing with the Old Testament. If l find I am incapable of making any prayer at all, then I can just sit there, content to be with God, content to tell him that I love him, content to be at his disposal. He just may want me to be with him in silence. I have to be patient and relaxed. God is not to be found in anxiety, in the whirlwind of life’s crosses and worries. God is peace, and comes with his peace if I prepare by trying to be calm. 

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