Adventures of an Office Dog
By New Skete’s Kahn Von Schloss Rugland
Assistant Director of Marketing and Communication
After years of working in the puppy kennel, I needed a challenge and opted to try my paw at a new job. A part-time position had opened up in the marketing and communications office, and with all the puppy mouths I need to feed, I thought, “Hey, why not; I’m pretty good at communicating. I bark when I want attention, whine when I don’t get it, and when I stare at someone long enough, they let me outside to answer nature’s call.”
The first few weeks were a little slow. Before going into my office I would make my rounds to say hello to my co-workers; Karen in advancement and stewardship, Carey in finance, Robin in IT, and Anastacia in purchasing. Each person would ask if I was given a cookie that day, and I would use the “sad eyes” and “drooling” communication tools to relay that I had not, wink - wink. This tactic worked for a short time. Now I am limited to one or two cookies a day.
By the third week, things picked up a little. Ida, the director of marketing and communications, asked me to collaborate on a video. What is a video? Explaining something to a dog really does not work. We are more doers than listeners. She decided to show me an example. We watched the YouTube sensation “Kitty Fight Song,” a family-friendly, hip-hop story of four kittens strutting their fluffy stuff. WHOA!! What are those strange, furry little things, and how did they get on the desk without me seeing them come into the room? They look a little like puppies, but different in a way that I find befuddling. They communicate with mews and hisses, nothing I have heard before. I walked around the desk to determine how these cats were able to get into the flat box sitting there, but lost sight of them. The strange noises continued to emit from the other side, and when I returned to the front of the desk, they were still there. I watched this “video” several times and decided I did not want anything to do with creating videos if it meant working with cats. It was revealed to me that I had already been the subject of several videos posted on Facebook. I had no idea that all the time Brother Luke been following me and my friends in the snow, with the little black device in his hands, he was making videos. This was mind-boggling as there were no cats in the snow. You can have a video with no cats? No wonder people who work in offices get so tired. I was mentally exhausted. Luckily, there is a nice rug in the office for me to nap on.
Lunch time is my favorite part of the workday. Some of my co-workers eat in their offices. To maximize their time, I have helped them to devise an “eat and exercise” plan that is beneficial for all, but mostly for me. In this game of keep away, I have discovered that leaning against an office chair will send it and its occupant rolling across the floor, leaving the desired food momentarily unattended. Any unattended food is fair game. Like the day that Karen left her turkey sandwich in a handbag on the floor. I’m a dog, for goodness sakes; if I find food on the floor I am going to eat it. Ida has tried to distract me with people foods she says are good for me. Baby carrots are good for dog’s teeth, low in calories and high in fiber and vitamin A. I do not like baby carrots. Apple slices, good for my teeth and a good source of vitamin A and C. Apple slices are not my preference. Peanut butter is a good source of protein, heart-healthy fats, and vitamin B. It must be unsalted, preferably raw. I LIKE peanut butter! She will only give me a spoonful in a Kong at a time, but if I had thumbs I would figure out how to get the lid off the peanut butter jar.
Raising puppies and being the office dog is fine and fun, but my favorite job is being Brother Luke’s companion dog. My office co-workers say I must sense when he is near. I cannot settle down but pace, look out the window, and nudge elbows with my nose, causing interruption to typing fingers. Given the option between cat videos, peanut butter, and Brother Luke, I will pick Brother Luke every time.
